Weldcraft Legacy

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Planning a Legacy That Will Leave A Lasting Impression . . .

Typically when preparing for the “worst” we’re encouraged to share our Financial Assets in a Will, yet as she quickly learnt after losing her own Mom to cancer, money cannot heal the pain of loss. She conducted hundreds of interviews for her new book, ‘Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye’, and soon discovered that our survivors really want a meaningful gift: a memento, message, video or song, something that will help them keep memories and their connection to you strong. Gemini explains how to capture these Emotional Assets so we can share our real “wealth,” leaving a priceless gift for our loved ones.

Gemini remembers wishing she had a way to re-connect with her Mom’s love, especially during birthdays and celebrations — previously joyous occasions that had become Lonely Landmarks. She yearned for something to help her maintain the fading connection; perhaps a letter, a video or memento, some stories, or guidance, anything that captured the affection of which her Mom had once been the source. She says, “Few appreciated the challenges I faced in light of my loss — my world had transformed from a stable and supportive place, to somewhere unsteady and foggy with grief. Mom’s love — the most important ingredient in my life — the fuel with which every mother feeds her child, had gone, and in its place was the ‘gaping void’ of grief. A legacy of Mom’s love would have helped to prevent my connection with her from fading, while reducing my suffering, and motivating me when times were tough.” Convinced that she was not alone in her desire for a more loving legacy, she interviewed the bereaved, and started an online survey asking:

What would you prefer if one of your parents died: to inherit their money, or a letter saying how much they loved you?

Over 90% expressed a wish for the loving letter.

Gemini was not surprised by the overwhelming desire for a meaningful message. Although houses, cash, companies and cars might appear to be the most important elements of leaving a legacy, when your love and affection have been lost forever the value of these ‘things’ can quickly depreciate. Writing a Will and taking care of your Financial Assets is essential for both legal and practical purposes, but if you want to minimize the inevitable grief and suffering of your children, lover, spouse or grandchildren, then it’s your Emotional Assets : your stories, values, voice, image, love and affection that you must share. The key is understanding the needs of your family when bereaved: how the loss might impact them, how your relationships can be sustained after you’re gone, and how you can establish ongoing emotional support for them? You can start by asking:

* How will they know you truly loved them?

* Who will share their history with them?

* Who will support them in their time of need?

* Who will comfort and care for them?

* How will their memories of you stay strong?

* Who will help them make ‘good’ life choices?

* Who will motivate them when things get tough?

Donna L. Schuurman, EdD, FT, Executive Director, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, works with thousands of families who’ve been affected by tragic loss each year, says: “Children are deeply affected by the loss of a parent and will commonly experience insecurity, loss of self-esteem and confidence issues. They will search for ways to reconnect and remember the person and that relationship. Unfortunately, money won’t help with this, but the inspiring ideas Gemini presents in Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye, show us as parents how to create a heartfelt treasure that can.” Gemini explains how to reduce the potential suffering for your family and keep their memories of you strong, offering six simple concepts to create a legacy that will also leave a lasting impression:

* Good Guidance – Create a ‘Mommy or Daddy Manual’ to share life instructions and lessons, helping your children make ‘good’ life choices.

* Future Surprises – Leave gifts for special celebrations, like Birthdays, Weddings or Bar Mitzvah’s, these will maintain the connection for your surviving loves ones and remind them of how much you cared.

* Life Story - Share family values, ancestry, anecdotes and cultural or religious traditions to give context and help children understand where they came from, and why things are the way they are.

* Musical Memories – Create and leave a compilation of music that will help your child or spouse to recall special memories of you or motivate them when things are tough.

* Define Wishes – Plan for the end of life, so you can eradicate last minute ‘stress’, and guarantee you get the service you and your family desire.

* Life Celebrations – Prepare your final farewell party well in advance so you can ensure the service reflects the real you, and reduce any additional burdens that might otherwise fall on the shoulders of surviving family.

For more information on how-to leave a lasting and loving legacy, visit: http://www.realizethegift.com

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